Business Coaching Ideas - Number 3
What do people want to hear?
Telling people what they want to hear is something that happens in the work place and media every single day. But there are different connotations of this problem, some unconscious and some conscious.
Can you spot the difference?
When it comes to telling people what they want to hear we’ve all experienced it in at least three different forms –
1. The “Yes” man who tells the boss what he wants to hear out of fear, lack of confidence or a desire to ingratiate themselves
2. The politician who tells a group of people what they want to hear to gain their support and votes
3. The media commentator or personality who tells their audience what they want to hear, which reinforces their opinions and prejudices, and makes them feel “right” and others wrong.
But there is another form of “telling people what they want to hear” that we all fall into, and we do it subconsciously. When you find yourself with a person or group who has differing views to you there are two ways we often react –
· The more time you spend with these people you find yourself falling in line with views and opinions that don’t support your values
OR
· You laugh along and agree because it is easy, and it avoids conflict. You start to build up internal tension towards this group and that then emboldens your own opposite view, and you become right, and they become wrong.
There are two paths you can take when you become aware of this habit you are falling into –
1. The “low hanging fruit” or the unconscious way of dealing with this situation is to stand up for yourself. Stand up for your views. Voice your opinions and don’t be afraid to rock the boat. Be very careful if you do this that you are simply not defending your view of the world over someone else’s, that you simply want to be right.
2. The difficult way is to sit and listen without expressing views. To be able to take the time to understand why this group or this person has the view they do. If you are able to do this what you will start to see how that person’s thinking comes from their opinions which are formed by all the experiences they have had in their life, to a point they have unconsciously formed an opinion about a certain issue and they feel the need to voice or defend that opinion.
It takes more effort and self-belief to be able to shut up and listen, than it does to be right.
John Rosel